I was listening to Billie Eilish this morning and so love the song Meet My Future. It brings tears to my eyes every time. I have loved Billie's music from day dot before she became famous. All of her songs hit you in your heart, they come from her body, from her heart, from her soul. So why do I love this song more than the others? She is still so young, finding her way, she has expressed her growing pains through her music, however, now she is starting to know her place, know her authenticity, and this song, even though heart wrenching, speaks of her new future and her being excited to experience it, to see what it brings. How many of us do this? How many actually stop, pause and look at ourselves and wonder if we are where we want to be, doing what we want to do. If we are not, how can we make that happen? What do we need to do to change the patterns in our life in order to live our best life.
I have had the greatest privilege of being able to do this. I am not going to lie, if I didn't have my husband, family and friends to support me in my journey for the last few years, it would not have happened. So much self doubt (and there still is, believe me), but you know what, I am excited. I am so excited to see where this takes me. There is a saying that life is not a dress rehearsal, but in some ways, I feel that my life leading up to this place has been a dress rehearsal, I have zig zagged in different careers, leadership, management, accountancy, parenthood (yep, that one prepares for you for everything!) and it has all brought me to this point. I am 48 years old and finally living the life I feel I should be living. It is not all unicorns and fairy dust, it is bloody hard work, I am at the barn at around 7am every day, I see to the horses myself, I have my barn girls that come after school to help me with the evening chores and I get a weekend morning to sleep in, when one of my barn girls sees to the horses for me, but otherwise, rain, sleet, snow, migraines, flu, I am there. The horses need to be fed, they need their beds and turnouts cleaned and they need the constant relationship I give them.
It is very easy for us to get lost in our lives and forget about what matters, what our hopes and dreams are. We are very good at talking ourselves down from pursuing those dreams, especially when we have others relying on us. We think we can wait, just until..... but there comes a point where that urge, that need to do something else is all encompassing. I feel this pandemic we are going through has brought that home to a lot of us. We have had to get creative in how we can earn a living when we have been in lockdown. Maybe we go back or have time for the things that we really love and maybe we have that breathing space finally to be able to really assess what we want from life. Anyway, if you really sit down and breath into your body, breath into your hopes and dreams, see where is sits in your body. Your heart? That is a strong need to do something, you feel it at your core....or does it come from your gut? That excitement, that lets do this, I can't wait anymore feeling!!! Or are you still in your head, playing with ideas. See where it resonates for you and from that place meet your new future.
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